HEARTGAME "MINI" WRITE-UP AHHHH
Sep. 24th, 2012 04:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rebellsI AM NOT GOING TO DO A REAL WRITEUP because sob but here is a quick and dirty summary of each area and the changes made there!
Top (in the image)/left (in the game) side was AATHERSIDE, bottom/right side was LEGACYSIDE, so named because in canon, Jay lives on a ship called the Legacy. The green rectangle is the plaza! It's missing a couple paths (between doors-cabin and altar-garden), but that's the general layout. IN GENERAL the further something was from the plaza, the closer to himself Swift guards the part that it represents.
THE PLAZA: front of carts/behind the carts
The plaza was representative of Swift's outer presentation/persona--essentially WHAT YOU SEE INTERACTING WITH HIM. The row of food carts divided the area between public and private personas; if you started behind the carts it was because Swift is generally "himself" around you and, while he may lie or deflect, doesn't actively attempt to project a certain image. People who started in front are usually talking to the curtain, not the man. This is why, starting in front of the carts, you saw a giant fountain, and behind the carts only a pool; this is why the food on the carts was weird/substanceless/TOO EXTREME. It was fake! (As opposed to the food on the table behind the carts, which was "real.")
Food on the carts and on the table represented modes that Swift employs when frontin'; I played a bit with the amounts laid out on the carts too. The number of trays/units laid out represented how willing Swift is to draw on that "front," while the amount that had already been "eaten" represented how much he actually uses it. Italian ices were cheerfulness/pleasantness; chili chocolates were pushiness; ??? jelly was curiosity; cakes were ANNOYANCE/hostility; sugar smiles were amusement/lol!!!!
On the back table, the pie, mussels, and tea represented playfulness, sarcasm, and RELAXEDNESS?? (which is not so much being relaxed as being . . . honest), respectively.
CHANGES MADE (front):
+ Lambda ate a cake, which will increase outward annoyance/hostility (just a bit)
+ Lambda and Percy ate an ice, which will increase outward pleasantness
+ Greed ate a sugar smile, which will increase outward amusement
+ Erika ate two jelly cubes . . . and then TOOK one of the jelly cube trays with her, which will make him much less willing to appear outwardly curious to people he doesn't know well.
+ Tsukki ate a chili chocolate, which will increase outward pushiness.
CHANGES MADE (back):
+ Ivory and Lambda drank some tea, which will increase RELAXEDNESS
+ Percy and Saya ate some pie, which will increase playfulness!
+ Erika . . . jellycubed all the food on the table, which will make him more outwardly curious around people he is close to. ENJOY MORE INTRUSIVE QUESTIONS???
+ Lambda left her cake on the back table, which will make him more outwardly annoyed (fake-annoyed!) at people he is close to.
THE HALL OF NAMES: aatherside/legacyside
This is where Swift stores information about people and things!! He is an information dealer in canon and pretty observant so there is a lot of it. It was also the gateway to the inner (well, the outer inner) heart, aka the bits that have feelings in, so there was a tiny puzzle lock on the gates at the end of both halls.
The halls could be opened by any of the lanterns that represented people Swift is honest with (most of the time, er); this was any colored lantern on Legacyside and Ruby, Jasper, Heliodor, Peridot, and Sapphire on Aatherside. Not a lot to say here! The halls were pretty straightforward areas.
NOTABLE is probably that the brightness of the lanterns did not represent affection/closeness but knowledge levels. (Although they tended to correlate anyway.)
CHANGES MADE:
+ Zuko wrote a nice note! This will just increase his awareness of Zuko's ~~feelings~~. thx bro i really didn't have enough dere for you already.
+ Erika rewrote her scroll . . . gj Erika . . . he will have a higher opinion of Erika going forward, although not any more--trust or liking, since those are governed by other areas of the heart.
+ Ruby, Heliodor, and Jasper were used to solve the lantern puzzle, so there will be a slight tendency towards honesty with members of those teams. (Relative to before.) I think everyone on Legacyside replaced their lanterns, so no effect there.
+ Ivory FLEW OVER THE FENCE which will make it easier to jump Swift's feelings fence in future . . . .
AATHERSIDE: the revolving doors
Represented FRUSTRATION as well as his feelings on Personae and the Aather system. There were actually five doors to go through (the sixth was the way you came), representing two paths; one was the vine room path and could be solved independently of any of the others, while the other cut through the "balance room" (GUESS WHICH PERSONA THIS WAS!!) and you needed a key from each of the remaining three doors to go through.
All the rooms were represented by a Persona; all the rooms also represented a frustration, except the balance room which . . . was a balancer, and balancing the keys there would have had a positive effect. The vine room represented the needs of the many/needs of the few dilemma that's been on his mind a lot lately, as it's the choice that (as he sees it) trauma games and the Aather system as a whole continually force on them, and it was also prominent in Maleficent's backstory, of course.
Each of the key rooms was a little like this (minor puzzle/task --> solve puzzle --> get key); that one represented the frustration of HAVING TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS, god!! It was Nimue-themed because Nimue is the f-feelings and secrets Persona, and the task was pretty representative of how he generally feels during her games as well as during FEELINGS. If you want the other rooms, you will have to ask.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Zuko and Marine unlocked the challenge room key, which will bring that particular frustration to the forefront--basically a short term negative, long term positive effect, as it will make him more conscious of the fact that he doesn't understand his own feelings a lot of the time.
+ Both pairs who traversed the vine room area gamebroke that room, which will decrease his frustration at that particular bind and strengthen his resolve to find a THIRD PATH!!
AATHERSIDE: the refurbished cabin
Represented DUTY and also Jasper/his feelings for them. It looked a bit beat up because at some point his sense of TEAMFEELS just broke (I have essayed about this with MANY MANY WORDS so I will shush now) and had to be rebuilt into something new. In heart terms, the Jaspercabin used to be called LONELINESS and was a complete wreck--then Saya, who represents his GROUP/COMMUNITY SENSE and investment, fixed it up and brought it into its current state of semi-functionality.
The AATHERPLANETS MODEL out on the front lawn represented his sense of duty to the Aather community as a whole, which was awakened post-Odile game and happenings thereabouts and quickly shoved into a metaphorical drawer because he didn't know what to do with it, thus the tarp covering it. The bed out on the front lawn was Erika's, because Swift threw Erika out of his mental conception of Jasper a while back--if you had tried to put it back (no one did), Saya would have stopped you, because it would have re-broken Jasper all over again. Compartmentalizing is important!!
INSIDE the cabin you found the cabin in its newly fixed-up state again, and Saya working hard!! to make a meal for Jasper. And making kind of a mess of it--this was both a representation of ? ? ? what is cooking for team and of his attempt to take on some of Eve's role as team caretaker and . . . not knowing what he is doing, ever. (And in fact Eve did cook for the team, so I am extra symbolically appropriate. Nyeh.) If anyone had checked the recipe book Saya was working from, they would have discovered it was blank! Because there is no map for this! Life is hard.
There were a couple problem areas--rot in the kitchen sink and cold, grimy water in the tub--representing the ways in which Jasper is still sort of not "ideal" in Swift's mind. His feelings for Jasper were also located in this area.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Greed insulted the state of the cabin and didn't appreciate Saya's efforts!! Swift will view Greed as unappreciative of Jasper and the deliberate work that goes into making it what it is which . . . tbh he did anyway . . . .
+ Erika placed jelly cubes on the beds in the Jasper cabin! This will make him associate those members of Jasper with curiosity a little more.
+ Erika drained the TUB OF SAD FEELINGS, which will weaken his impression of Jasper as sort of "cold" and unwilling to stick their necks out for one another.
+ Erika took the tarp off the AATHERPLANET MODEL, and Lambda cleaned it up a bit, which will reawaken his sense of duty to Aather as a whole. Gosh!!
+ Lambda and Marine were nice and helpful and made a good impression on Saya. Swift will view them as friendly towards "Jasper" (his conception of Jasper, and his attempts to Make It A Thing.
+ Marine encouraged Saya to keep practicing cooking!! so Swift will try harder to be a good teamdad '-'
+ Lambda told Saya that surprises are good, so Swift will be more likely to surprise Jasper with nice things in the future.
+ Zuko cleaned out the rot from the sink, which will weaken his impression that "Jasper" as a concept is sort of rotten at the core . . . idk this is hard to explain ask me and I will words.
LEGACYSIDE: the altar
Represented DETERMINATION as well as his Grune/endgame thoughts and feelings. This was relatively straightforward, because Swift's sense of determination is pretty black and white--he just is. The candles were representations of that strength of determination, and you could not have put more than a few out because Swift is a Tales protag with memories of endgame and he don't roll like that.
Touching any of the statues gave you a memory of determination.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Percy and Riku lit all the candles. He'll . . . be even more determined . . . .
+ Percy did a prayer thing! Swift may feel watched over by Grune in the future?! He doesn't really have a strong sense of her as a goddess yet, so it's hard to say.
LEGACYSIDE: the water garden
Represented AFFECTION and . . . no, really just affection and his feelings about friends. The NPC of the area, Shirley, represented his desire to make friends and have people around him; she shared his biases and general views on people, but with a much more positive slant. She was also the major way of getting a key to True Heart/Awareness--she is inclined to like people and view them as potential friends, so she was much easier to convince than Swift is in the waking world, but how much talking to she required depended heavily on your existing CR with Swift. The people who asked were baby!Jaspers, so she gave up the keys pretty easily.
The other big thing was the WINDCHIMES, which represented his feelings for people. Windchimes were strung along four stone platforms going in towards the center of the LOVE POND. These platforms represented the progression of Swift's positive feels toward you! In order: amusement --> regard --> familiarity --> dearness. There's a bit more here.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Azure expressed a willingness to help in Swift's heart and to take on the dangerous task of opening a path to True Heart. ++feeling supported by Azure and trust!
. . . no I think that was it. This was also where CITRINEQUEST was carried out, which I cover below, and a lot of people talked to Shirl, but none of them made a very strong impression on her.
CENTER: the spyglass rooms
Represented SELF-REFLECTION and moral/personal dilemmas! Each scale represented two oppositional traits or ideas that Swift was struggling to balance against one another. In clockwise order from near left: the self-sacrifice debate (protecting the team versus minimizing harm); kindness versus douchebaggery; openness versus masks; pride versus regret.
To balance them properly or fix the weighting, which . . . Swift's sense of internal "balance" is often kind of messed up even for the scales that WERE ostensibly balanced, you needed an outside source, which is where the weird red panels came in. They were a spiritual phone line to "Awareness"/True Heart, and pre-heart game his only way of affecting goings-on in the outer (or inner outer) heart. You could basically have asked him for anything! And he would have given it to you, as long as you justified it satisfactorily.
Unlike Swift-in-the-flesh, Awareness had no grudges and was not hampered by negative feelings, which is why he was relatively cordial to Riku and Percy.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Riku placed some of the painted marbles ("masks") on the openness side. This would ordinarily have dampered his potential for true openness, but this was . . . cancelled out by other huge changes in the heart, and it would have been temporary anyway.
+ Percy and Riku chatted with Awareness for a bit, and Riku especially made a good impression on him--this will translate somewhat, but not totally.
+ Riku convinced Awareness to do a thing and get rid of Swift's grudge against Citrine--he will be wary of them still because . . . well, come on, but his CITRINE HAET/resentment was drastically reduced and is now basically gone.
+ Saya came through and was concerned about Swift and wanted to see him--++Sayadere and trust and awareness of reciprocal Sayadere, d'aww.
INNER SANCTUM: the door/elevator/sea of tears/true heart
MAN I AM GETTING TIRED AND I WANT TO ACTUALLY FINISH THIS TONIGHT SO SUPER SUMMARIZING! Ask for details sob.
- The path to Awareness was blocked by Swift's strong negative feelings, which I divided roughly into three: rage (the tunnel), helplessness (elevator), and despair/fear (sea of ~tears~), although they all kind of meld together in a meldy . . . mess. They are the foundation of his irrationalities and self-delusions; they are what prevent him from seeing and thinking clearly, and thus they were the obstacles between Awareness and the rest of the heart.
- THIS IS WHERE I WOULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT HOW FEAR (of vulnerability) IN PARTICULAR IS A HUGE STUMBLING BLOCK FOR SWIFT as well as for Jay in canon but loliolo. You will just have to imagine it.
- Swift is unwilling to display or express these strongly negative emotions in front of even the people he is closest to, and he also sort of locks them away/refuses to acknowledge them to himself, which was why this area was locked tightly away from the rest of the heart.
- HOWEVER, he secretly wants to be able to trust people! Which was why Shirl handed out keys like candy to people he might not ordinarily have let see this shit. She did it for his own good, really. >) (app shirl)
- If you had brought Marine's windchime or the stuffed fox to the door, they would also have turned into keys, because Marine and Eve were the two people in Aather he would have been at all comfortable displaying vulnerability in front of.
- It was impossible to "fix" anything on the path to Awareness--you could only BREAK THROUGH the elevator, SWIM THROUGH the sea of tears . . . which gave Swift a significant drive/determination boost, so not totally unfruitful! But the negative emotions were largely uncontrollable at this point in time; you had to grit your teeth and determinate your way past because Swift has like no coping mechanisms. Something for another game, perhaps. :>
- Awareness = True Heart, as above, and he is called that because a Swift without his baggage possesses self-awareness in spades, which is the major difference between him and waking-world Swift.
CHANGES MADE:
+ The door to negative emotions was opened! This is another short-term loss, long-term gain scenario, because it forces Swift to actually maybe deal with these instead of pretending they don't exist.
+ Swift will be more likely to trust Jasperparty with his negative emotions in the future! He had rather severely withdrawn from them prior to this but that will . . . swing the pendulum back a bit.
+ Everyone who talked to Awareness gets dere ok '-'
+ Azure convinced Awareness to go running around amok in the heart, which will do . . . what it sounds like. Self-awareness will influence future decisions to a greater extent. FOR NOW.
I THINK THAT IS IT. IF PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING (I AM STILL WORKING ON THAT MEME OK '-') OR WANT MORE SPECIFICS I WILL ALSO BE HAPPY TO ANSWER THOSE!!
Top (in the image)/left (in the game) side was AATHERSIDE, bottom/right side was LEGACYSIDE, so named because in canon, Jay lives on a ship called the Legacy. The green rectangle is the plaza! It's missing a couple paths (between doors-cabin and altar-garden), but that's the general layout. IN GENERAL the further something was from the plaza, the closer to himself Swift guards the part that it represents.
THE PLAZA: front of carts/behind the carts
The plaza was representative of Swift's outer presentation/persona--essentially WHAT YOU SEE INTERACTING WITH HIM. The row of food carts divided the area between public and private personas; if you started behind the carts it was because Swift is generally "himself" around you and, while he may lie or deflect, doesn't actively attempt to project a certain image. People who started in front are usually talking to the curtain, not the man. This is why, starting in front of the carts, you saw a giant fountain, and behind the carts only a pool; this is why the food on the carts was weird/substanceless/TOO EXTREME. It was fake! (As opposed to the food on the table behind the carts, which was "real.")
Food on the carts and on the table represented modes that Swift employs when frontin'; I played a bit with the amounts laid out on the carts too. The number of trays/units laid out represented how willing Swift is to draw on that "front," while the amount that had already been "eaten" represented how much he actually uses it. Italian ices were cheerfulness/pleasantness; chili chocolates were pushiness; ??? jelly was curiosity; cakes were ANNOYANCE/hostility; sugar smiles were amusement/lol!!!!
On the back table, the pie, mussels, and tea represented playfulness, sarcasm, and RELAXEDNESS?? (which is not so much being relaxed as being . . . honest), respectively.
CHANGES MADE (front):
+ Lambda ate a cake, which will increase outward annoyance/hostility (just a bit)
+ Lambda and Percy ate an ice, which will increase outward pleasantness
+ Greed ate a sugar smile, which will increase outward amusement
+ Erika ate two jelly cubes . . . and then TOOK one of the jelly cube trays with her, which will make him much less willing to appear outwardly curious to people he doesn't know well.
+ Tsukki ate a chili chocolate, which will increase outward pushiness.
CHANGES MADE (back):
+ Ivory and Lambda drank some tea, which will increase RELAXEDNESS
+ Percy and Saya ate some pie, which will increase playfulness!
+ Erika . . . jellycubed all the food on the table, which will make him more outwardly curious around people he is close to. ENJOY MORE INTRUSIVE QUESTIONS???
+ Lambda left her cake on the back table, which will make him more outwardly annoyed (fake-annoyed!) at people he is close to.
THE HALL OF NAMES: aatherside/legacyside
This is where Swift stores information about people and things!! He is an information dealer in canon and pretty observant so there is a lot of it. It was also the gateway to the inner (well, the outer inner) heart, aka the bits that have feelings in, so there was a tiny puzzle lock on the gates at the end of both halls.
The halls could be opened by any of the lanterns that represented people Swift is honest with (most of the time, er); this was any colored lantern on Legacyside and Ruby, Jasper, Heliodor, Peridot, and Sapphire on Aatherside. Not a lot to say here! The halls were pretty straightforward areas.
NOTABLE is probably that the brightness of the lanterns did not represent affection/closeness but knowledge levels. (Although they tended to correlate anyway.)
CHANGES MADE:
+ Zuko wrote a nice note! This will just increase his awareness of Zuko's ~~feelings~~. thx bro i really didn't have enough dere for you already.
+ Erika rewrote her scroll . . . gj Erika . . . he will have a higher opinion of Erika going forward, although not any more--trust or liking, since those are governed by other areas of the heart.
+ Ruby, Heliodor, and Jasper were used to solve the lantern puzzle, so there will be a slight tendency towards honesty with members of those teams. (Relative to before.) I think everyone on Legacyside replaced their lanterns, so no effect there.
+ Ivory FLEW OVER THE FENCE which will make it easier to jump Swift's feelings fence in future . . . .
AATHERSIDE: the revolving doors
Represented FRUSTRATION as well as his feelings on Personae and the Aather system. There were actually five doors to go through (the sixth was the way you came), representing two paths; one was the vine room path and could be solved independently of any of the others, while the other cut through the "balance room" (GUESS WHICH PERSONA THIS WAS!!) and you needed a key from each of the remaining three doors to go through.
All the rooms were represented by a Persona; all the rooms also represented a frustration, except the balance room which . . . was a balancer, and balancing the keys there would have had a positive effect. The vine room represented the needs of the many/needs of the few dilemma that's been on his mind a lot lately, as it's the choice that (as he sees it) trauma games and the Aather system as a whole continually force on them, and it was also prominent in Maleficent's backstory, of course.
Each of the key rooms was a little like this (minor puzzle/task --> solve puzzle --> get key); that one represented the frustration of HAVING TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS, god!! It was Nimue-themed because Nimue is the f-feelings and secrets Persona, and the task was pretty representative of how he generally feels during her games as well as during FEELINGS. If you want the other rooms, you will have to ask.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Zuko and Marine unlocked the challenge room key, which will bring that particular frustration to the forefront--basically a short term negative, long term positive effect, as it will make him more conscious of the fact that he doesn't understand his own feelings a lot of the time.
+ Both pairs who traversed the vine room area gamebroke that room, which will decrease his frustration at that particular bind and strengthen his resolve to find a THIRD PATH!!
AATHERSIDE: the refurbished cabin
Represented DUTY and also Jasper/his feelings for them. It looked a bit beat up because at some point his sense of TEAMFEELS just broke (I have essayed about this with MANY MANY WORDS so I will shush now) and had to be rebuilt into something new. In heart terms, the Jaspercabin used to be called LONELINESS and was a complete wreck--then Saya, who represents his GROUP/COMMUNITY SENSE and investment, fixed it up and brought it into its current state of semi-functionality.
The AATHERPLANETS MODEL out on the front lawn represented his sense of duty to the Aather community as a whole, which was awakened post-Odile game and happenings thereabouts and quickly shoved into a metaphorical drawer because he didn't know what to do with it, thus the tarp covering it. The bed out on the front lawn was Erika's, because Swift threw Erika out of his mental conception of Jasper a while back--if you had tried to put it back (no one did), Saya would have stopped you, because it would have re-broken Jasper all over again. Compartmentalizing is important!!
INSIDE the cabin you found the cabin in its newly fixed-up state again, and Saya working hard!! to make a meal for Jasper. And making kind of a mess of it--this was both a representation of ? ? ? what is cooking for team and of his attempt to take on some of Eve's role as team caretaker and . . . not knowing what he is doing, ever. (And in fact Eve did cook for the team, so I am extra symbolically appropriate. Nyeh.) If anyone had checked the recipe book Saya was working from, they would have discovered it was blank! Because there is no map for this! Life is hard.
There were a couple problem areas--rot in the kitchen sink and cold, grimy water in the tub--representing the ways in which Jasper is still sort of not "ideal" in Swift's mind. His feelings for Jasper were also located in this area.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Greed insulted the state of the cabin and didn't appreciate Saya's efforts!! Swift will view Greed as unappreciative of Jasper and the deliberate work that goes into making it what it is which . . . tbh he did anyway . . . .
+ Erika placed jelly cubes on the beds in the Jasper cabin! This will make him associate those members of Jasper with curiosity a little more.
+ Erika drained the TUB OF SAD FEELINGS, which will weaken his impression of Jasper as sort of "cold" and unwilling to stick their necks out for one another.
+ Erika took the tarp off the AATHERPLANET MODEL, and Lambda cleaned it up a bit, which will reawaken his sense of duty to Aather as a whole. Gosh!!
+ Lambda and Marine were nice and helpful and made a good impression on Saya. Swift will view them as friendly towards "Jasper" (his conception of Jasper, and his attempts to Make It A Thing.
+ Marine encouraged Saya to keep practicing cooking!! so Swift will try harder to be a good teamdad '-'
+ Lambda told Saya that surprises are good, so Swift will be more likely to surprise Jasper with nice things in the future.
+ Zuko cleaned out the rot from the sink, which will weaken his impression that "Jasper" as a concept is sort of rotten at the core . . . idk this is hard to explain ask me and I will words.
LEGACYSIDE: the altar
Represented DETERMINATION as well as his Grune/endgame thoughts and feelings. This was relatively straightforward, because Swift's sense of determination is pretty black and white--he just is. The candles were representations of that strength of determination, and you could not have put more than a few out because Swift is a Tales protag with memories of endgame and he don't roll like that.
Touching any of the statues gave you a memory of determination.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Percy and Riku lit all the candles. He'll . . . be even more determined . . . .
+ Percy did a prayer thing! Swift may feel watched over by Grune in the future?! He doesn't really have a strong sense of her as a goddess yet, so it's hard to say.
LEGACYSIDE: the water garden
Represented AFFECTION and . . . no, really just affection and his feelings about friends. The NPC of the area, Shirley, represented his desire to make friends and have people around him; she shared his biases and general views on people, but with a much more positive slant. She was also the major way of getting a key to True Heart/Awareness--she is inclined to like people and view them as potential friends, so she was much easier to convince than Swift is in the waking world, but how much talking to she required depended heavily on your existing CR with Swift. The people who asked were baby!Jaspers, so she gave up the keys pretty easily.
The other big thing was the WINDCHIMES, which represented his feelings for people. Windchimes were strung along four stone platforms going in towards the center of the LOVE POND. These platforms represented the progression of Swift's positive feels toward you! In order: amusement --> regard --> familiarity --> dearness. There's a bit more here.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Azure expressed a willingness to help in Swift's heart and to take on the dangerous task of opening a path to True Heart. ++feeling supported by Azure and trust!
. . . no I think that was it. This was also where CITRINEQUEST was carried out, which I cover below, and a lot of people talked to Shirl, but none of them made a very strong impression on her.
CENTER: the spyglass rooms
Represented SELF-REFLECTION and moral/personal dilemmas! Each scale represented two oppositional traits or ideas that Swift was struggling to balance against one another. In clockwise order from near left: the self-sacrifice debate (protecting the team versus minimizing harm); kindness versus douchebaggery; openness versus masks; pride versus regret.
To balance them properly or fix the weighting, which . . . Swift's sense of internal "balance" is often kind of messed up even for the scales that WERE ostensibly balanced, you needed an outside source, which is where the weird red panels came in. They were a spiritual phone line to "Awareness"/True Heart, and pre-heart game his only way of affecting goings-on in the outer (or inner outer) heart. You could basically have asked him for anything! And he would have given it to you, as long as you justified it satisfactorily.
Unlike Swift-in-the-flesh, Awareness had no grudges and was not hampered by negative feelings, which is why he was relatively cordial to Riku and Percy.
CHANGES MADE:
+ Riku placed some of the painted marbles ("masks") on the openness side. This would ordinarily have dampered his potential for true openness, but this was . . . cancelled out by other huge changes in the heart, and it would have been temporary anyway.
+ Percy and Riku chatted with Awareness for a bit, and Riku especially made a good impression on him--this will translate somewhat, but not totally.
+ Riku convinced Awareness to do a thing and get rid of Swift's grudge against Citrine--he will be wary of them still because . . . well, come on, but his CITRINE HAET/resentment was drastically reduced and is now basically gone.
+ Saya came through and was concerned about Swift and wanted to see him--++Sayadere and trust and awareness of reciprocal Sayadere, d'aww.
INNER SANCTUM: the door/elevator/sea of tears/true heart
MAN I AM GETTING TIRED AND I WANT TO ACTUALLY FINISH THIS TONIGHT SO SUPER SUMMARIZING! Ask for details sob.
- The path to Awareness was blocked by Swift's strong negative feelings, which I divided roughly into three: rage (the tunnel), helplessness (elevator), and despair/fear (sea of ~tears~), although they all kind of meld together in a meldy . . . mess. They are the foundation of his irrationalities and self-delusions; they are what prevent him from seeing and thinking clearly, and thus they were the obstacles between Awareness and the rest of the heart.
- THIS IS WHERE I WOULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT HOW FEAR (of vulnerability) IN PARTICULAR IS A HUGE STUMBLING BLOCK FOR SWIFT as well as for Jay in canon but loliolo. You will just have to imagine it.
- Swift is unwilling to display or express these strongly negative emotions in front of even the people he is closest to, and he also sort of locks them away/refuses to acknowledge them to himself, which was why this area was locked tightly away from the rest of the heart.
- HOWEVER, he secretly wants to be able to trust people! Which was why Shirl handed out keys like candy to people he might not ordinarily have let see this shit. She did it for his own good, really. >) (app shirl)
- If you had brought Marine's windchime or the stuffed fox to the door, they would also have turned into keys, because Marine and Eve were the two people in Aather he would have been at all comfortable displaying vulnerability in front of.
- It was impossible to "fix" anything on the path to Awareness--you could only BREAK THROUGH the elevator, SWIM THROUGH the sea of tears . . . which gave Swift a significant drive/determination boost, so not totally unfruitful! But the negative emotions were largely uncontrollable at this point in time; you had to grit your teeth and determinate your way past because Swift has like no coping mechanisms. Something for another game, perhaps. :>
- Awareness = True Heart, as above, and he is called that because a Swift without his baggage possesses self-awareness in spades, which is the major difference between him and waking-world Swift.
CHANGES MADE:
+ The door to negative emotions was opened! This is another short-term loss, long-term gain scenario, because it forces Swift to actually maybe deal with these instead of pretending they don't exist.
+ Swift will be more likely to trust Jasperparty with his negative emotions in the future! He had rather severely withdrawn from them prior to this but that will . . . swing the pendulum back a bit.
+ Everyone who talked to Awareness gets dere ok '-'
+ Azure convinced Awareness to go running around amok in the heart, which will do . . . what it sounds like. Self-awareness will influence future decisions to a greater extent. FOR NOW.
I THINK THAT IS IT. IF PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING (I AM STILL WORKING ON THAT MEME OK '-') OR WANT MORE SPECIFICS I WILL ALSO BE HAPPY TO ANSWER THOSE!!
