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rebellsGAME Game 126/Day 162, Chesh's teamstuff game
FORM a white chocolate bone, 0/1 uses left
TAKEN Day 163, around noon
THE MEMORY
This is a headcanon memory, and I hesitated before putting it on because . . . headcanon sig neu, but looking back something like this almost certainly had to happen at some point, and it's pretty endemic to the way I read Jay, so here we are.
In this memory Jay issss . . . probably somewhere between eight to twelve years old (I usually use ten, but it's not important here), and coming off a) failing to assassinate someone b) being used as a decoy and abandoned to die and essentially c) being deemed useless at the one thing he has repeatedly been told is his only purpose in life. Afterward he gets picked up and tended to by otters and . . . we don't know a lot about what happened, other than that it took him a long time to show signs of actual responsiveness, but when we next see him, Jay is sixteen, irreverent, working the information dealer niche for all it's worth and--absolutely living his own life, despite not actually believing that he is a human being or that his existence has inherent value.
So this is a memory very, very early on in that transition, Jay with a knife in his hand (it may actually be his knife--I don't think otters had the prescience to take it away from him), having had his entire world and reason pulled out from under him, knowing that he's a failure and his entire existence is worthless and he should have died, he should die, but at the same time . . . not wanting to, wanting to live, despite everything. Because Jay in canon is someone who is determined to live, even selfishly, no matter what.
This is where I would say that hearing about this memory ICly is opt-in, but . . . I sincerely doubt that Swift will ever even allude to anything in here . . . .
WHAT HE LEARNS
+ well I
+ . . . already knew my past was shitty . . . .
+ I guess . . . .
EFFECTS
lololololol
No, um. Swift has gotten back a lot of disdain for the mindset he shows here, and he knows that it is very possible to change, and that he did change, a lot. This won't BSOD him or anything, and it won't change his mindset, but it will shake him, a lot. It's his first memory that's really negative emotionally.
FORM a white chocolate bone, 0/1 uses left
TAKEN Day 163, around noon
THE MEMORY
This is a headcanon memory, and I hesitated before putting it on because . . . headcanon sig neu, but looking back something like this almost certainly had to happen at some point, and it's pretty endemic to the way I read Jay, so here we are.
In this memory Jay issss . . . probably somewhere between eight to twelve years old (I usually use ten, but it's not important here), and coming off a) failing to assassinate someone b) being used as a decoy and abandoned to die and essentially c) being deemed useless at the one thing he has repeatedly been told is his only purpose in life. Afterward he gets picked up and tended to by otters and . . . we don't know a lot about what happened, other than that it took him a long time to show signs of actual responsiveness, but when we next see him, Jay is sixteen, irreverent, working the information dealer niche for all it's worth and--absolutely living his own life, despite not actually believing that he is a human being or that his existence has inherent value.
So this is a memory very, very early on in that transition, Jay with a knife in his hand (it may actually be his knife--I don't think otters had the prescience to take it away from him), having had his entire world and reason pulled out from under him, knowing that he's a failure and his entire existence is worthless and he should have died, he should die, but at the same time . . . not wanting to, wanting to live, despite everything. Because Jay in canon is someone who is determined to live, even selfishly, no matter what.
This is where I would say that hearing about this memory ICly is opt-in, but . . . I sincerely doubt that Swift will ever even allude to anything in here . . . .
WHAT HE LEARNS
+ well I
+ . . . already knew my past was shitty . . . .
+ I guess . . . .
EFFECTS
lololololol
No, um. Swift has gotten back a lot of disdain for the mindset he shows here, and he knows that it is very possible to change, and that he did change, a lot. This won't BSOD him or anything, and it won't change his mindset, but it will shake him, a lot. It's his first memory that's really negative emotionally.
